So yeah, I've not been here in forever. Because a lot of stupid shit has happened in my life and I'm going to bore you all by telling you about it.
First off, and this is the biggie, I got really sick. And I mean like I-almost-died sick. My weight dropped from 10 stone to under 7 stone in about two months, because I simply wasn't eating. I didn't know why - anyone who knows me knows I'm picky as fuck with my food anyway, but this was actual genuine not-eating-anything. I couldn't deal with solids. My body was pretty much destroying itself but me being stubborn, I kept on going until I was so sick I could barely move.
So I got wheeled (literally) into hospital for an endoscopy and a colonoscopy and lo, twas found that I have Crohn's Disease. I'll let you Google it yourself to spare you the crap explanation I give people, but yeah. That's what I have.
And it's really, really changed everything about me.
I've had to change what I eat. I can't cope with much fibre - no insoluble fibre, pretty much ever - so I can only eat oats as a source of fibre. The reason for this is that excess fibre can cause an obstruction in my gut and kill me (nice) so my love for all things wholegrain has gone poopity-poop, it's white bread and white pasta and white rice from now on. All vegetables and fruits have to be peeled and cooked.
The advantage to this low-fibre diet means that I can eat an ass-load of meat and not feel guilty. Bwahah.
I pretty much run on sugar these days. I'm rarely without an energy drink because fatigue is a massive part of this illness and it SUCKS. Some days I can barely get out of bed. And some days I come home from work and just flop and sleep. I can't control it. Today is a good day. I'm awake and not too tired but I can feel my body going 'c'mon, you had a hard day at work, chill out and rest' and I will, when I'm done typing this and have had dinner.
Anyways, I was off work sick for a month while I was pumped full of corticosteroids to get rid of the inflammation and make me EAT again. And while I was lying there, drugged to shit, I kind of had a life revamp.
Hey, I said a lot had changed :3
I'd say the biggest thing is that I quit cosplay, I quit conventions, and I quit toy collecting.
The first one is more of a practical thing. A part of Crohns is being able to go poo-poo whenever your body wants to, and let's face it, most costumes are pretty hard to get off quickly. Plus... I dunno, I just don't feel like part of the 'scene' any more. And also, the group I was part of, I volunteered to crew for a couple of conventions and have heard nothing further about it, so fine, you don't want me there, I won't be there. That may be slightly petty but if someone offers you help, don't just ignore them. I can't stand people who don't follow up on things. Ugh.
Also I just can't be arsed to make costumes anymore. I'll design them but nah, making stuff is effort now.
I also ditched my crap Predator costume because a) it was crap and b) I can't get it off quick enough so yeah, she's gone. RIP Baltimore, you'll forever live on in that daft little video of me using my wristblade to operate my Blackberry. Haha. iPhones are harder :3
I quit conventions because I'd rather spend my money on designer handbags than autographs and standing around going 'oh em gee that's *insert obscure person from obscure TV show that nobody likes anymore*'. Although, the one signature I'm missing that I really freakin' want though is Patrick Stewart. If I can get that, I'll be happy forever and my collection will be complete.
I quit toy collecting because it really is just Stuff and Stuff doesn't really matter anymore. I will keep most of what I have, but I've had a massive cull and some of my TF's are for the chop. I'm keeping the awesome ones like my Leader-class figures, my Jetfire and my Barricade Army but the rest will be sold or charity shopped. I'm also keeping my Evangelion figures because they are freakin' bloody beautiful. The ponies will all be sold come Ponycon this year. I'm still looking for a Human Alliance Barricade, then I will consider that collection complete.
I'm also having a bit of a revamp of Me. Most of you have only known me with my funky little cropped haircut but I'm growing it out because I kind of miss my mane. Plus it's a bit more glam and I've gone a bit fashion-packy in my absence from pretty much everything.
I also don't really go out much anymore. I don't do the cinema because I can't do late nights, and most times I have to get up halfway through for the loo, so I just wait for the DVD now. Also I'm usually in bed by 9pm these days. I need my sleep.
Although I did get an SLR camera FINALLY, and there's a massive Mini festival next month, so can we all say CAR PIC SPAM.
Carrying around a chronic illness really takes it out of you.
This illness has also told me who my friends are. Thank you to those of you that have stood by me and helped me, and realised that I'm still me, just with an intestine with a life of its own. But plenty of people have ditched me, either because they don't understand or they don't want to associate with someone who is, basically, disabled.
So yeah. I'm here now. I'm going to post some photos soon. Promise.